How to Talk to a Friend About Mental Health

ceciliadivergentmi
Sep 2
3 min read

Connection can be healing. Here’s how to start the conversation.

Good mental health is just as important as physical health—it affects how we think, feel, and connect with others. One of the most powerful ways to support good mental health—both our own and the people we care about—is through open, supportive conversations.

But let’s be honest: talking about mental health isn’t always easy. You may worry about saying the wrong thing, overstepping, or making your friend uncomfortable. The truth is, you don’t need perfect words—you just need compassion and a willingness to listen.

At Divergent Minds Therapy, we believe that checking in with a friend is more than a kind gesture—it’s an important step in nurturing good mental health in our communities.

Here are some gentle steps to help you approach a friend who may be going through a difficult time:

1. Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a calm, private setting where your friend feels safe to open up. Avoid rushing the conversation or bringing it up in a crowded or stressful environment. Even something as simple as a quiet walk, a coffee chat, or sitting in the park can create space for honest sharing.

2. Start with Care, Not Assumptions

You don’t have to have all the answers. Begin by letting your friend know you’ve noticed changes or that you care about how they’re doing.

A simple, “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down lately—how are you feeling?” is often enough to open the door.

Let your friend lead the pace. Silence is okay. So is not knowing what to say.

3. Listen Without Judgment

Your role is to listen, not to fix.

Let your friend share at their own pace. Try not to interrupt, give quick solutions, or minimize their feelings. Sometimes, validating their experience without judgment — or simply being heard — can be the most powerful support you can offer.

As YoungMinds emphasizes, emotional availability and non-judgmental presence can reduce shame and help someone feel less alone.

4. What Not to Say — and What to Say Instead

Instead of pushing advice — or even with good intentions, saying things that can feel invalidating — try offering encouragement.

Avoid phrases like:

“Just think positive.”
“Others have it worse.”
“You’re overreacting.”

These can unintentionally dismiss someone’s experience.

Instead, try:

“I’m here for you.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
“Would you like me to help you find someone to talk to?”

Small gestures of support — like checking in regularly or inviting them to do something together — can show they’re not alone.

5. Follow Up — Encourage Professional Help if Needed

One conversation is a great start—but often, it’s not enough. Healing and opening up take time. Check in again with a simple message, send a quick “thinking of you,” or invite your friend to something low-pressure, like a coffee or a walk.

Consistency shows that you truly care, and it builds trust over time.

If your friend seems to be struggling significantly, encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. You might say:

“Talking to a therapist could really help—would you like me to look into options with you?”
“It’s brave to reach out for support. I can be here while you take that step.”

Sometimes, knowing that help is available—and that they’re not facing it alone—can make professional support feel less overwhelming.

6. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting a friend can be emotionally heavy. Make sure you’re looking after your own mental health while being there for them. It’s okay to set boundaries while still showing compassion. You can’t pour from an empty cup — and your wellbeing matters just as much.

Good mental health thrives when we feel supported, connected, and heard. Starting a simple conversation with a friend can make a world of difference—not only for their wellbeing, but for the collective importance of mental health in all our lives.

If you or someone you care about is struggling, our team at Divergent Minds Therapy is here to help. We provide a safe and supportive space where individuals can explore challenges and take steps toward better mental health.